Confession: I recently spent 4 days at a monastery.
I don’t know all the reasons I did it; I just felt like I should, so I did.
Here’s a brief journey through my time there.
Day 1
I came in not knowing what to expect. I settled into my room and decided these things: for the next 4 days I will not turn on my phone, computer, ipod, or have any communication with the outside world. I brought only my Bible, my journal, a short Henri Nouwen book and my camera. My spirit was so hungry for this time to get alone with God! 
That night Father Gerard taught us the prayer Lectio Divina (meaning Sacred Reading – and it’s definitely worth checking out!). He taught us that hearing from God is meant to be like honey on a piece of bread. It is not a double layer chocolate cake, as though we can hear from God once and then stop listening for the rest of our lives. It is just enough to sustain us in the moment, because God means for ongoing communication with us.
pretty cool.
Day 2
Felt led to read Daniel, and after fighting with God about the absurdity of that, I did.
I spent this entire day wandering from my room to the lake to the grove of trees to the bathroom to the garden back to my room, etc. I read, sat, thought, prayed, cried, laughed, and slept…some of those ten times each. And since I had decided not to check my phone, email, or facebook I was suddenly overcome with the desire to do so! Halfway through the day it occurred to me: I have no idea how to be still. I sat under the trees and begin reading Daniel and stopped at 1:8. Actually, the first three words:
AND DANIEL RESOLVED.
It dawned on me how little the idea of resolve has to do with my life. I can’t even stay focused at a monastery! But Daniel? He resolved. He committed to not be conformed to the “typical” lifestyle of those around him. And in doing so he found a life visibly fuller than the others, a life abundantly blessed by God.
One of the first things I realized I needed to resolve was simply to make room. To clean house and be okay being still, being with God. I am convinced there is greater fulfillment there than I now know.
Day 3
I don’t know what happened over the night, but I woke up this morning and felt like a totally different person. I was no longer wandering about aimlessly, but the entire day became an ongoing conversation with God, like honey on a piece of bread – the perfect amount of sweetness and sustainability for each moment. Whereas the first day was about creating space for God to speak and the second was battling with distractions and obstacles, this day was pure delight! God spoke. He healed. He restored. And when I felt it was time, I turned back to Daniel. I got no further than the next verse:
AND GOD GAVE DANIEL FAVOR.
God’s immediate response? Such is the life of the resolved.
Later that day some of the other people at the retreat shared their stories and twice I felt God tell me that something in my journal was also for them. So I did. And through that process this truth came to mind:
I want you to be well, so that you can help others be well, too.
Day 4
By the fourth day, I didn’t want to leave! I was scared that I’d get back into society and become the easily distracted self that I was before. And in reality, I still am! But, by the grace of God, and the power He gives me to resolve, I’ve continued tasting that sweet honeyed bread, and learning to live in the reality that I will always want more and more.
That’s ok. God owns the bakeries on a thousand hills.
Love you so much! Love what you are allowing the Lord to do in you! He IS using you to make others well! Miss you friend!
becca that was an awesome post! that really rings true for my life right now…thanks!
I love what you are learning and making us so hungry for! Your words are so inspiring and I am very happy for you and very proud of you!
Love you,
Mom